I've been in the religious arena for nearly three decades and I didn't like the word "sin" when I first started and I like it less now. What does it mean exactly to sin anyway? Well, in my experience it's been proven to me that the people usually judging others as sinners are usually worse sinners themselves. So, the purpose of this article is not for me to be passing judgment, but to hopefully pass on some spiritual insight.

I'm sure you'll recognize this one, as it's probably the main reason why more and more people cringe when they hear the words Church and Minister as we're supposed to be the ones more "holy" than the rest and aren't. Let's take a look at using God's name in vain and the concept of it being a sin. When one stubs their toe and says, "God damn it!" they are not sinning by using God's name in vain. What? I'm telling you they aren't and it's the TRUTH. The only way we can use God's name in vain is this, every time we pass judgment on another as if we were God. Only God has the right to pass judgment and it's only between us. Ministers may claim to have a special channel, but it's only insight, and it is to be shared not for the purpose of controlling others. We have to take all that religious garbage we were taught and throw it out the window, because it's man-made, and it's what has screwed us up.

This means that when you go to church and your minister, priest, pastor, or what ever they call themselves, stand up in front and lecture you between right and wrong as if they were God themselves and are using His damnation and wrath to control you, they are using God's name in vain and are sinning. Of course, we need rules for wrong and right behavior, but we must be able to define for ourselves what that is and why we do what we do. And, in my book if I'm seeking pleasure and not hurting anyone else, it's fair game, which brings me to the point of understanding and defining the meaning of sin.

Historians claim the word sin is defined as missing the mark. By that I mean, think of it as an archer with an arrow who aims for the bulls eye, the dead center mark. So, if we apply this analogy to our daily intentions, we see that we in actuality aren't sinning we are missing our mark. So, no matter how much your minister, priest, pastor or whatever they call themselves, jump up and down while screaming you're a sinner, you'll reject it unless it applies to you, and I guarantee you it will be through GUILT. So, let's look at the sins that usually hits home with most of us: SEX (premarital and adultery) as examples.

Okay, two people meet and date then decide to cement their relationship sexually but because they're told it's a sin to have premarital sex decide to wait and make it legal first. So, they make their wedding plans, have their expensive wedding and take their vows, but later something goes wrong. They're not happy and one of them strays. Why? Should they have had premarital sex beforehand and would that have prevented what they're feeling now? More chances than not, when someone commits the act of adultery or is single and has sex with someone they know is attached, it is due to an unmet emotional need they have that they transform into being a physical need. Either they aren't feeling loved and appreciated by their partner or have an unmet need to have what someone else does or a need to manipulate, control, win, etc. without caring about the other people involved.

We think our longing and lust is physical, but it is emotional. So, instead of dealing with our inner issues and changing our circumstances to meet our needs, we search outside of ourselves for someone else to "fix" it which results in "sinning," missing our mark of being emotionally complete in our spiritual journey toward enlightenment and God. What it comes down to is this. Getting that quick fix, it's all that matters, then it's over leaving us with our own aftermath of self-destruction because when we hurt others, we hurt ourselves.

I promise you, peacefully take personal responsibility and your life will change. How do you do this when you are constantly bombarded on a daily basis by mass media to CONSUME? Stop, watch, listen, think, respect yourself.

Henry David Thoreau, author of the book Walden, wrote that man is an island unto himself meaning alone in the universe. He was right on the mark because when we die, our spirit leaves our body, reconnecting us to God in the spiritual realm. So, when we look to others to make us feel complete in our earthly realm, we are left feeling even more incomplete. All of our negative actions resulting from our desires that derive from not feeling whole are defined as sin, because to be holy is to be complete, whole. Until we are comfortable in our own skins, on our own island, we will continue to seek others to complete us rather than compliment us. I sincerely believe this is why the divorce rate is high. It's not because we waited or didn't wait to have sex, we were looking for love for all the wrong reasons and in the wrong places.

Again, what it comes down to is this. When we look outside of ourselves and for others to give us what we think we are missing, we give them our power, and in return become vulnerable and resentful which leads to more hurtful behavior. Where, more times than not, leads to the analogy of adultery being the result of two "lonely" lost ships that found each other while "floating" in the night, claiming "My wife/husband doesn't understand or appreciate me!"

Or, it could be that the two who took the "vow" of marriage have determined their own rules, which are not set by the very institution that sanctioned their marriage. So, I ask then why marry? It's just a piece of paper? If two people decide to take that legal step toward official commitment to seal it claiming to love one another, promising to support each other in sickness and health, and emotionally during difficult times shouldn't that be a respected union between themselves and others should respect it?

For most people it is, but every once in awhile I come across a couple who claim to be married but still act as if they're single, meaning not in a committed relationship where they remain faithful to each other, especially sexually. To them, they are committed to being together but allow themselves and the other person full reign for personal freedom, and if that entails copulation outside of their union, well, it's all right. Granted, our bodies are just our bodies, but what role do our emotions play especially where trust and respect are involved. "I trust you to let me know beforehand?" "I respect you enough to tell you afterward?" "Your actions don't/didn't hurt me?"

Throughout the years, I have watched too many couples who claimed they could handle it, the infidelity was acceptable especially because it was out in the open, who later cast blame and hurtful comments to the "sinner" as it has been "programmed" into us, adultery is a sin, because it is missing the mark! The rules changed, love plays second to the business aspect as the marriage now becomes just a piece of paper and an open playing field for the legal arena.

Personally, regarding premarital sex, the only reason a man and woman should lay together first is after they commit to taking their platonic relationship to the next realm with the serious intent of marriage. Sex is the next step in their relationship that brings them closer in their union as when we reach orgasm it is the utmost spiritual experience as expressed in the Bible and other holy books linking us to God coupled rather than separate. This is why love is described as heavenly bliss as we not only have the mental, physical connection it becomes spiritual. So, when people come together sexually without the groundwork of intent of commitment, the act becomes shallow as more times than not it was acted upon out of loneliness, and leaves us feeling empty even though at the time we felt it was what we needed.

Decades ago, our Founder, said there were three things mankind needed to survive: freedom, food and sex. He claimed that anyone who said "sex was bad" was a screwball. At that time, in most traditional and fundamentalist churches that was what most of the preachers were preaching, premarital sex, and sex without procreation as the intent, was bad and was a dirty act rather than it being a normal and healthy expression between two people who loved each other. As usual, our Founder's words were misconstrued and traditional and fundamentalist churches claimed he advocated sex outside of a committed relationship and marriage. This was not the case at all.

What he was advocating was that we not deny our "natural" need to express our love for another and to do so within respectful boundaries. He was married, had children and was extremely faithful to his family and vision for a "free" nation. Headquarters offers courses that teach principles and techniques on love and give sexual instructions to couples, which is unheard of in other traditional religious realms. ULC advocates personal freedom is not a sin, but a birthright. When we don't strive for it and take personal responsibility to ensure we're not causing others or ourselves personal harm, we are definitely missing the mark.

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